Baby Jack: The Final 24 Hours

The Final 24 Hours - Part 4

There are no words to describe what it is like to watch your son be born. I keep trying to phrase something in some nice literary way but all I can really come up with that truly captures it is "Wow wow wow wow wow wow." Here was a complete little person that we made with things we found around the house. He has tiny fingers and even tinier toes. He has Ann's nose and chin and my coloring (once he recovered from his purpleness). He has a little tiny penis (ah, yes, he's a boy) and a huge scrotum (they say it will go down in a few weeks, until then it's a weird thing to behold). He has wispy hair with a spiral on his forehead and a smooth as, well, as a baby's bottom bottom. And he's my son.

My son. What an amazing concept. My life has changed in a way that I still cannot fathom. It's no longer about me or about Ann. It's about all of us now. And it's about him. Everything I want to do now is about him. I know my mission now is to give him everything he needs to become the person he wants to be. I'm not going to push him to be this person or that person or force a major or a career on him. He can be straight or gay (neither of us have a choice there) and he can be a scholar or a worker. My job is to give him the tools he needs to be a good, kind person and able to make intelligent choices for himself. And that's an awesome responsibility. And I am so glad I have a chance to do my best.

We just sit now and watch him. Often, he sits and watches us too. It's this strange group wonder. We all wonder at each other. And then he spits up.

Bill Cosby once said that the first time you bring your first child home, it's different. "Home." The word has new meaning. You're really home now.

It's absolutely true.

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